I must admit, I am terrible in being away from loved ones.
When I was living with my parents, I used to think about how wonderful it would be to be away from them and have my own life. Truth is, when that moment finally came, it was very difficult for me. I actually missed them! But then, I learned and adjusted well.
Then it came when my husband (then boyfriend) had to work outstation ... it was terrible! It could be a month before we meet again and it was just terrible. However, I also learned to live on my own.
Then came when I got married ... hubby left for Sudan months after we got married. Imagine my loneliness! But then I had a long hour job, so I got through.
Now, the biggest thing in my life - Ryan. When Ryan was really young, we used to leave him with nanny a night in a week when I would use the night to recuperate from my sleep deprivation. However, it is usually a rough night cause I would be missing him till I can't sleep properly. Also, I would wake up to pump milk cause I would have serious engorgement. And then in the middle of the night, I would wake up finding myself wondering why I had gotten up - the next day I find out that I woke up roughly the same time when Ryan would have woken up and cried.
As the months go by, Ryan got easier for me and so, he was never away from me. Then came the time when nanny had to go away on holiday. I would have no choice but to have Ryan sent to my mum and I would have really missed him terribly.
In the last 2 weeks in particular, I was away from Ryan when I went to Bangkok for a short holiday with friends. It was not easy, but I had a fellow mother who reminded me that I needed to be happy in order to have a happy child and so, I went. Phone calls were made 2 times a day to my mum's place and I would have a short conversation with Ryan. It really helps when he is able to make short sentences and by the 5th day, he could no longer bear missing me and was crying the whole day till the time he saw me at night.
Today, I had to send Ryan again to my mum's place cause nanny is away in Taiwan. I have been mentally preparing for this week of absence (longest separation!) for about a month and still, it has not been any easier. So, Ryan is away this week and I had chided myself to think that I was going to have a swell time by myself ... but at last, that is not true!
I came home just now with no sweat from carrying him, no raised voices to a child who purposely push my buttons, no messy floors from toys left from this morning, no messy floors from his wee wee accidents and certainly no sweet voices calling "Ah-mi ah" .... oh, I so miss him right now!
Looking forward to your return this weekend ...
Monday, October 1, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Oh My God!!
In today's news, there was an article of a little girl who was sexually assaulted and murdered. Check this link http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/9/18/nation/18914532&sec=nation
As a mother, I find this piece of news really traumatizing. Is this the kind of society we have evolved to? I mean, what kind of an animal would be capable of such a thing? I remember reading about cases like these happening to adults many years ago and already then we were horrified. But now, the murderers are moving in to kids! Why? What have they done to deserve this? I am actually crying now, thinking of the pain and fear that the little girl must be feeling when the murderer did this to her. Can you imagine if you are the mother of this child? I would rather die then to be subjected to this pain I know my child suffered.
I guess only when one becomes a parent would you then truly understand the pain when your child is hurt. Before I had Ryan, I was always indifferent to these things, thinking that I do not have a child yet, so the pain is not "felt". Ever since Ryan is born, I fear for almost anything out there. What is some stranger kidnap him? What if he falls on his head and breaks his neck? What if he broke his leg/ hand./ wrist etc? What is someone deceives him and cons him of his money? What if he gets his heart broken by some girl? What if he cannot study and has no aim in life? What if he gets some sickness no medicine can cure? What if he turns out to be a total brat? What if what of what if??? I am so fearful and everyday I live thinking the worse that can happen and yet I tell myself constantly that God will watch over us and keep us safe ... but still ... the fear is there.
However, as I observe day to day, there are still little things that us parents can do to make a difference to our child's life.
1) Always strap the child in when in car. Do not take for granted that the distance is near and the speed is not fast. Nobody knows what can happen!
2) Always make sure your child stays close to you. Never let him run off on his own and disappear from your eye sight, even for a second especially in crowded places. All it takes is for one person to snatch him and he will disappear for good!
3) Never allow your child to go out on his/ her own, even if it is going across the road. You never know when someone is outside lurking waiting for an opportunity to kidnap your child.
4) Never frighten your child with the dangers that he/ she is exposed to, instead explain and reiterate and repeat. i.e. never frighten the child with fire - instead explain why playing with fire is not acceptable and the consequence of his actions. Although they may not understand it fully, at least they are taught the right thing and not unnecessarily frightened. This way of managing kids will ensure that they understand that there is a rationalization process in hand and that there is an outcome to all actions. Although it is tough to do this, I believe the long term benefit is there.
5) Know basic first aid, keep some medicine and bandages at home. Know the nearest hospital, the doctor's numbers etc.
And so, this is my 2 cents worth of safety procedures we can all carry out to make a difference to our children's life.
May they be safe today and everyday, always.
As a mother, I find this piece of news really traumatizing. Is this the kind of society we have evolved to? I mean, what kind of an animal would be capable of such a thing? I remember reading about cases like these happening to adults many years ago and already then we were horrified. But now, the murderers are moving in to kids! Why? What have they done to deserve this? I am actually crying now, thinking of the pain and fear that the little girl must be feeling when the murderer did this to her. Can you imagine if you are the mother of this child? I would rather die then to be subjected to this pain I know my child suffered.
I guess only when one becomes a parent would you then truly understand the pain when your child is hurt. Before I had Ryan, I was always indifferent to these things, thinking that I do not have a child yet, so the pain is not "felt". Ever since Ryan is born, I fear for almost anything out there. What is some stranger kidnap him? What if he falls on his head and breaks his neck? What if he broke his leg/ hand./ wrist etc? What is someone deceives him and cons him of his money? What if he gets his heart broken by some girl? What if he cannot study and has no aim in life? What if he gets some sickness no medicine can cure? What if he turns out to be a total brat? What if what of what if??? I am so fearful and everyday I live thinking the worse that can happen and yet I tell myself constantly that God will watch over us and keep us safe ... but still ... the fear is there.
However, as I observe day to day, there are still little things that us parents can do to make a difference to our child's life.
1) Always strap the child in when in car. Do not take for granted that the distance is near and the speed is not fast. Nobody knows what can happen!
2) Always make sure your child stays close to you. Never let him run off on his own and disappear from your eye sight, even for a second especially in crowded places. All it takes is for one person to snatch him and he will disappear for good!
3) Never allow your child to go out on his/ her own, even if it is going across the road. You never know when someone is outside lurking waiting for an opportunity to kidnap your child.
4) Never frighten your child with the dangers that he/ she is exposed to, instead explain and reiterate and repeat. i.e. never frighten the child with fire - instead explain why playing with fire is not acceptable and the consequence of his actions. Although they may not understand it fully, at least they are taught the right thing and not unnecessarily frightened. This way of managing kids will ensure that they understand that there is a rationalization process in hand and that there is an outcome to all actions. Although it is tough to do this, I believe the long term benefit is there.
5) Know basic first aid, keep some medicine and bandages at home. Know the nearest hospital, the doctor's numbers etc.
And so, this is my 2 cents worth of safety procedures we can all carry out to make a difference to our children's life.
May they be safe today and everyday, always.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
All these nights
I have been one of those blessed mums who have been rather successful in breastfeeding my child.
Regardless of what one may say about the hardships and the cumbersome routine, I still strongly think it is the easiet arrangement one can make for the benefit of the child.
Just before Ryan turned 2, I stopped pumping at work. Mainly because my produce was low (due to lesser stimulation) and also Ryan is depending less and less on milk now.
The funny thing is that once Ryan got the hang of powdered milk, he started to ask for "mummy's milk milk". I was a little worried that he might reject the powdered milk and continue to latch on to me.
However, moving past these last few months, Ryan has been showing more and more signs of weaning - he does not ask for breast milk so often now, he wakes up lesser during the night for comfot suckling ... most of all, he has started to ask for bottled milk milk.
About a week ago, Ryan started to sleep on his own bed. He also started to ask for Milo, which we mix with milk. After his bottled "chocolate" milk, he will sleep on his side. For the first few nights, he will wake up asking for mummy's milk milk ... then one night he woke up rejecting me and asked for Milo!!! Wah, I never knew till now the torment one has to go through to make milk in the middle of the night. It is not an easy task at all ... most times I wake up and not being able to sleep again. Sigh ...
However, last night, a breakthrough happened. Ryan did not wake up at all and continued sleeping till the morning. I was really happy to see that he is so grown up. However, even thought he did not drink his midnite milk, his diaper was still overflowed .... I wonder why.
Now, he is already asleep.
Wonder if tonight he will also sleep right through ....
Regardless of what one may say about the hardships and the cumbersome routine, I still strongly think it is the easiet arrangement one can make for the benefit of the child.
Just before Ryan turned 2, I stopped pumping at work. Mainly because my produce was low (due to lesser stimulation) and also Ryan is depending less and less on milk now.
The funny thing is that once Ryan got the hang of powdered milk, he started to ask for "mummy's milk milk". I was a little worried that he might reject the powdered milk and continue to latch on to me.
However, moving past these last few months, Ryan has been showing more and more signs of weaning - he does not ask for breast milk so often now, he wakes up lesser during the night for comfot suckling ... most of all, he has started to ask for bottled milk milk.
About a week ago, Ryan started to sleep on his own bed. He also started to ask for Milo, which we mix with milk. After his bottled "chocolate" milk, he will sleep on his side. For the first few nights, he will wake up asking for mummy's milk milk ... then one night he woke up rejecting me and asked for Milo!!! Wah, I never knew till now the torment one has to go through to make milk in the middle of the night. It is not an easy task at all ... most times I wake up and not being able to sleep again. Sigh ...
However, last night, a breakthrough happened. Ryan did not wake up at all and continued sleeping till the morning. I was really happy to see that he is so grown up. However, even thought he did not drink his midnite milk, his diaper was still overflowed .... I wonder why.
Now, he is already asleep.
Wonder if tonight he will also sleep right through ....
Ryan goes to school
I have been toying with the idea of sending Ryan to school for some time now.
After much hear-say and reading, I am almost certain that I will send him to this kindy in Jalan Gasing. Granted, the fees are not cheap, but I am happy with th word of mouth recommendations as well as the way the teachers are teaching.
I have also been there once and I am impressed with the level of activity that goes on there. I am also happy with the way they teach the children to read as well as the emphasis to let children be.
Yesterday, I decided to bring Ryan there again to see how he would react. The last time he was there, he was not even 2 years old. Now, I think he should be able to accessed better.
To prepare him for this visit, I have been talking about school for a few nights. All the time I just ask if he wants to go to school. The answer is always positive, with the exception of when he is angry.
During the drive there in the morning, the following conversation took place.
Me: Ryan, tomorrow we go to school ok? We see the teacher.
Ryan: Ryan go to school ah?
Me: Yes, Ryan go to school.
Ryan: Ryan want to go school.
Me: Go school for what?
Ryan: Go school to make friends.
Me: *Doink*
In that visit, I thought that he will probably be too shy and keep sticking to me. But surprisingly, he held on to me for like 5 minutes and then he warmed up to the teachers and then he even joined in the younger class and had a good time with them.
I was busy talking to the principal and so was out of his sight. His daddy also made periodic appearances, but surprisingly, Ryan did not batter an eye lid. He just occasionaly looked up and see if he can spot us. Regardless of whether he sees us or not, he will still carry on with the kids. I was so relieved. When it was time to go, Ryan actually frowned and shook his head. Luckily, we managed to leave without creating a scene.
When I went to pick him from nanny's in the evening, the following conversation took place.
Me: Ryan went to school this morning ah?
Ryan: Yes, Ryan go school.
Me: Do you like the school?
Ryan: Yes ... school got toys wor ... can go play toys.
Me: *Worried*
... so Ryan is saying that he wants to go school to make friends and play toys ... mummy is wondering when he will say "stuyding"
After much hear-say and reading, I am almost certain that I will send him to this kindy in Jalan Gasing. Granted, the fees are not cheap, but I am happy with th word of mouth recommendations as well as the way the teachers are teaching.
I have also been there once and I am impressed with the level of activity that goes on there. I am also happy with the way they teach the children to read as well as the emphasis to let children be.
Yesterday, I decided to bring Ryan there again to see how he would react. The last time he was there, he was not even 2 years old. Now, I think he should be able to accessed better.
To prepare him for this visit, I have been talking about school for a few nights. All the time I just ask if he wants to go to school. The answer is always positive, with the exception of when he is angry.
During the drive there in the morning, the following conversation took place.
Me: Ryan, tomorrow we go to school ok? We see the teacher.
Ryan: Ryan go to school ah?
Me: Yes, Ryan go to school.
Ryan: Ryan want to go school.
Me: Go school for what?
Ryan: Go school to make friends.
Me: *Doink*
In that visit, I thought that he will probably be too shy and keep sticking to me. But surprisingly, he held on to me for like 5 minutes and then he warmed up to the teachers and then he even joined in the younger class and had a good time with them.
I was busy talking to the principal and so was out of his sight. His daddy also made periodic appearances, but surprisingly, Ryan did not batter an eye lid. He just occasionaly looked up and see if he can spot us. Regardless of whether he sees us or not, he will still carry on with the kids. I was so relieved. When it was time to go, Ryan actually frowned and shook his head. Luckily, we managed to leave without creating a scene.
When I went to pick him from nanny's in the evening, the following conversation took place.
Me: Ryan went to school this morning ah?
Ryan: Yes, Ryan go school.
Me: Do you like the school?
Ryan: Yes ... school got toys wor ... can go play toys.
Me: *Worried*
... so Ryan is saying that he wants to go school to make friends and play toys ... mummy is wondering when he will say "stuyding"
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Ryan's arts
These are some of the art pieces which Ryan did last weekend. He is extremely proud of himself and keeps telling his daddy that "ryan make one".
The one on the left is something which they drew on the wall. The red patch beside his name is supposedly his version of "ice-cream" and the 2 darker lines below that is what he calls his "dolphins".
The one on the right was made with the kid's prints ... he enjoyed this very much.
Arts ... one subject which I can never understand.
My weekends
Previously, weekends were considered heaven for me, it's a time where I can do my own things and a chance for me to recover from the week and to sleep as late as I want and doo all the things that I like. Heck! It may also be the days I do nothing!! Ahh ... the good old days.
Ever since I had Ryan, my definition of weekend has changed dramatically.
I can no longer sleep as late as I want to, rather I have to get up early to prepare for the day, the most I sleep as late as Ryan sleeps, no later.
I also no longer have time for myself, now, all my time surrounds Ryan.
The only possible me-time I would have is when he naps in the afternoon. But then I would have been too tired and I also nap!
Last Sunday was particularly tiring. I sent Ryan to Gymboree in the morning for Play Gym and then paid a visit to the bookshop - this is my effort to make him love books, not sure if it is working, but I know he finds some books facinating. Then, after that it was time to go home for his nap and lunch ... but my dear boy decided to sleep on the way back and so I am stuck in the car till he wakes up. This usually happens and I spend most of my weekend naps in the car until he wakes up. Wht not wake him up? Well, simply because I do not want to risk having a sleep deprived child who will throw tantrums the whole day! After napping, he wakes up (with good temper, thank goodness) and we went to have my pre-prepared lunch at home. The we head out again to Gymboree for his Arts class. What?! Arts!?
Well, you see, when we signed him up earlier this year, it was a 3-in-1 package - Play, Arts and Music. Play is good, music is ok, but Arts was really not so exciting for me. Maybe that is because I am totally a flop in this area. But anyway, Ryan enjoyed the class and he made decent stuff, most importantly he was very proud of himself with the things he had created.
Will post his creations later.
But all in all, no matter how tiring the weekends are, it cannot beat the high I get when I see Ryan being happy and growing so well.
Ahh ... the joys of motherhood.
Ever since I had Ryan, my definition of weekend has changed dramatically.
I can no longer sleep as late as I want to, rather I have to get up early to prepare for the day, the most I sleep as late as Ryan sleeps, no later.
I also no longer have time for myself, now, all my time surrounds Ryan.
The only possible me-time I would have is when he naps in the afternoon. But then I would have been too tired and I also nap!
Last Sunday was particularly tiring. I sent Ryan to Gymboree in the morning for Play Gym and then paid a visit to the bookshop - this is my effort to make him love books, not sure if it is working, but I know he finds some books facinating. Then, after that it was time to go home for his nap and lunch ... but my dear boy decided to sleep on the way back and so I am stuck in the car till he wakes up. This usually happens and I spend most of my weekend naps in the car until he wakes up. Wht not wake him up? Well, simply because I do not want to risk having a sleep deprived child who will throw tantrums the whole day! After napping, he wakes up (with good temper, thank goodness) and we went to have my pre-prepared lunch at home. The we head out again to Gymboree for his Arts class. What?! Arts!?
Well, you see, when we signed him up earlier this year, it was a 3-in-1 package - Play, Arts and Music. Play is good, music is ok, but Arts was really not so exciting for me. Maybe that is because I am totally a flop in this area. But anyway, Ryan enjoyed the class and he made decent stuff, most importantly he was very proud of himself with the things he had created.
Will post his creations later.
But all in all, no matter how tiring the weekends are, it cannot beat the high I get when I see Ryan being happy and growing so well.
Ahh ... the joys of motherhood.
NS trainee dies of fever
This was in the news 2 days ago.
When I read it, I thought, "Hmm...another case". Honestly, I cannot remember the exact number of articles I had read on the negatives of this NS training thing.Really, can you remember one single article that had said something positive about it? I mean something positive from the participants or their families, voluntarily.
I am sitting here thinking about the similar training that our neighbors have and I am almost embarrassed to think how we can fall so far behind them.For sure I cannot remember reading about their trainees getting lost in the jungle, getting slapped by the trainers or dying of fever?? How can this happen? And yet, every time these things happen, the authorities come out to say that they will "investigate" and there will be "transparency" - hullo! what did they expect the public to expect? No investigations and more things swept under the carpet??
But somehow, things are like that ... I bet you, after today, there will be no mentions of this poor boy who had died of fever in the camp. Most most they will say that he died of natural causes which attacked suddenly and there was nothing they can do to prevent it blah blah blah ... trust me.
As of yestreday, there was a short article on this which said that the boy had received proper medical attention and that the allegations where he was not given proper medical care was baseless. Come on man, what did you expect them to say?
I am dreading the day which Ryan reaches the age when he is supposed to be in this program - but wait, as with all things in Bolehland, this program is probably going to be abolished by then ... else, someone please tell me how to get a quickly approved PR from the land down under, quick!
When I read it, I thought, "Hmm...another case". Honestly, I cannot remember the exact number of articles I had read on the negatives of this NS training thing.Really, can you remember one single article that had said something positive about it? I mean something positive from the participants or their families, voluntarily.
I am sitting here thinking about the similar training that our neighbors have and I am almost embarrassed to think how we can fall so far behind them.For sure I cannot remember reading about their trainees getting lost in the jungle, getting slapped by the trainers or dying of fever?? How can this happen? And yet, every time these things happen, the authorities come out to say that they will "investigate" and there will be "transparency" - hullo! what did they expect the public to expect? No investigations and more things swept under the carpet??
But somehow, things are like that ... I bet you, after today, there will be no mentions of this poor boy who had died of fever in the camp. Most most they will say that he died of natural causes which attacked suddenly and there was nothing they can do to prevent it blah blah blah ... trust me.
As of yestreday, there was a short article on this which said that the boy had received proper medical attention and that the allegations where he was not given proper medical care was baseless. Come on man, what did you expect them to say?
I am dreading the day which Ryan reaches the age when he is supposed to be in this program - but wait, as with all things in Bolehland, this program is probably going to be abolished by then ... else, someone please tell me how to get a quickly approved PR from the land down under, quick!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Yes, No and Can according to Ryan
Some major developments for Ryan:
1) As of 2 months ago, every time I ask Ryan a Yes/ No question, I will always try to get him to respond with either a Yes or a No. It the beginning, it was difficult to get a response cause he may not have fully understood the concept of Yes/ No.
However, recently he has been able to communicate clearly what he wants with a strong Yes or No. I am so proud of him although it can get a little annoying when I actually want him to say Yes (like in the case of him brushing his teeth) and he decides to say No!
2) His Yes responses lead to another development which came about last weekend. Last Saturday Ryan was playing on the bed when I called out to him.He looked up and replied "Yes?" Wah, this is the first time that he has answered my call. It used to be just looking up, so it can be a problem when I am not physically around him and he "looks" at my voice. Now that problem is gone!
Truly, the magic of a kid growing up is really amazing.
3) If there is one thing a kid knows, is that there is no such thing as Cannot, really. They will attempt and attempt and attempt till there is really no way, then they will howl for you to help.
In an attempt to help Ryan steer clear of this frustrations, I have always encouraged him to try and when he fails, I just say "never mind, try again".
Sometimes he will try again, other times he will just answer "Cannot!" And everytime I will say "Can, Ryan try again". Now, when Ryan asks for something and we say "Cannot" ... he will tells us "Cannnnn..." I am stumped!
1) As of 2 months ago, every time I ask Ryan a Yes/ No question, I will always try to get him to respond with either a Yes or a No. It the beginning, it was difficult to get a response cause he may not have fully understood the concept of Yes/ No.
However, recently he has been able to communicate clearly what he wants with a strong Yes or No. I am so proud of him although it can get a little annoying when I actually want him to say Yes (like in the case of him brushing his teeth) and he decides to say No!
2) His Yes responses lead to another development which came about last weekend. Last Saturday Ryan was playing on the bed when I called out to him.He looked up and replied "Yes?" Wah, this is the first time that he has answered my call. It used to be just looking up, so it can be a problem when I am not physically around him and he "looks" at my voice. Now that problem is gone!
Truly, the magic of a kid growing up is really amazing.
3) If there is one thing a kid knows, is that there is no such thing as Cannot, really. They will attempt and attempt and attempt till there is really no way, then they will howl for you to help.
In an attempt to help Ryan steer clear of this frustrations, I have always encouraged him to try and when he fails, I just say "never mind, try again".
Sometimes he will try again, other times he will just answer "Cannot!" And everytime I will say "Can, Ryan try again". Now, when Ryan asks for something and we say "Cannot" ... he will tells us "Cannnnn..." I am stumped!
Monday, August 20, 2007
We wah we wah wah too too, wah too too
This morning Ryan was singing "We want we want Gymbo, Gymbo" to the music of We will rock you.I am so pleased.
He has actually be singing this in his own words for some weeks now. It's just that we did not know what it was since it went something like this "We wah we wah wah too too, wah too too".
After some baffling weeks, I managed to interpret it yesterday when he was in Gymboree and this song came when they "called out" for Gymbo.
Whoever says that paying money for these classes is a waste - it is not true when you compare what you pay and what your child gets out of it.
Really, there is really no price for a child's development.
He has actually be singing this in his own words for some weeks now. It's just that we did not know what it was since it went something like this "We wah we wah wah too too, wah too too".
After some baffling weeks, I managed to interpret it yesterday when he was in Gymboree and this song came when they "called out" for Gymbo.
Whoever says that paying money for these classes is a waste - it is not true when you compare what you pay and what your child gets out of it.
Really, there is really no price for a child's development.
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