Sunday, December 9, 2007


When we were in primary school, our teachers used to ask us to compose about our family, or my mother, or my father, or my grand parents etc.

I believe we all wrote about how their day is (from our eyes) and how they helped us and how they cared for us. However, I do not think that we really value them, nor do we really know how much they cared for us, nor do I believe that we really understood their plight, situation, conditions etc. Things which we ourselves go through now, be it in our personal or family life.

For e.g. did we really understand their situation where giving better food for us kids meant that they could not get the quality of food that they desire? Did we understand that giving us better clothes meant that they could not buy that evening gown or the khakis they wanted? Could we understand that buying us toys meant that they could not go on that fancy meal or the holiday they so long for? Could we really understand that giving us all the love meant draining them emotionally, well at least to some extent since we all know that parents are just oozing with love all the time? Granted, I am actually talking about parents who are in the middle and lover classes. I think the higher end parents would have it easier ...

I must admit that before I became a mother, I always took all these things for granted. I used to think that being a parent was easy, being the child (in my narrow opinion) was the difficult part. I mean, we had to deal with peer pressure, school, teachers, EXAMS, latest trend in town, latest TV drama series, latest crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, puppy love, EXAMS, parties, PARENTS!!!

Which kid have you met that said "I truly understand my parents and believe that they have the toughest job of all" Who? Who has actually said that being a child? Even now, I have some friends who still think that their parents are old fashioned, bothersome, naggy, horrid, unfair etc. It breaks my heart to hear them say these things, but then I thought, they have to go through this stage in order to better appreciate their parents when they themselves become parents.

Growing up as the elder in the family, my parents always had expectations on me "You are the older one, give in" "You are the older one, set a good example" "You must study hard" "You must go to the university and get a good job" etc. etc. the list goes on. As a child I used to think that I did not asked to be the first one and so I should not be subjected to these expectations and so thought of it as being unfair. However, having gone through it and now having Ryan, I begin to see my parents point of view and their many actions which I now seem to think is reasonable. I mean, I am the older one, if I do not set a good example, how will they teach the younger one right? And if I do not give in, how is the younger one going to learn manners and thus the setting of the good example. And studying hard and getting a sound education seems to make sense now. Althought I am sure Robert Kiyosaki will not agree to the part about going to university and getting a degree! Somehow all these things seem to make sense when I became a mother - am I stupid and inconsiderate all these while? Or am I on the path to maturity - which make me old! Gasp!!

Nett nett, I guess all I am trying to say is that we should take a moment everyday and think about what our parents have given to us and how their love and care have shaped us. Of course they will not be perfect, but at least they have tried their best to provide us with a better life.

I hope that someday Ryan will read this and think of me and his dad as being the best parents there ever were ....

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