When Ryan was small, he used to look up to me and depend on me a lot. It sometimes overwhelm me to a point where I wonder if he was ever going to be independent. And needless to say, he enjoyed a closer relationship with me than he did with his dad.
Although hubby did mention this to me, I brushed him off saying that Ryan adored him anyway so he does not need to be so silly about it.
4 years on, exactly around the time Ryan celebrated his 4th birthday, he began his process of breaking free from me. It started with wanting to sleep with his daddy instead of squashed with me in the middle and Megan on the other side.
He also began to go to school and go up the stairs on his own instead of clinging on to me. He also started to change his own clothes, button them up, bathe himself, feed himself and even helped to soothe Megan when I was unavailable.
And now, his relationship with his dad has improved a lot and I think his daddy is extremely happy about it. Although I know that deep down nothing can replace a mother's love, I cannot help but feel jealous sometimes when Ryan gets close to his dad or when he wants his dad to brush his teeth, change his clothes or even send him to school.
Some people I speak to seem to think that it is cute and he is so grown up, I just cannot help but feel jealous about it. But I have this deep sense of pride knowing that he is growing up just right.
There are still many years to come where he will display his readiness to break away and be independent, but at the moment I wish that those years will come slowly.
I am not ready to break free ... am I just being silly?