It is now past midnight and in about 10 hours, my little one will be out.
We just came back from dinner at a place called Tea for Two, we had pasta with sangria and sinful chocolate cake. Ryan had a blast - he had like 4 scoops of ice-cream today, one at lunch and 3 at dinner. I guess I cannot help but spoil him a bit seeing that I do not want to be accused of being unfair to him when his sister arrives.
I was told that I would not be able to sleep tonight and that I will be extremely nervous. At the moment, I do not have these feelings - maybe the sangria is doing its job. Or maybe because I have been so busy the whole day, I just feel like I am ready to hit the sack anytime.
The whole 39 weeks has really sped by. And I have enjoyed every single moment of it. Sure, sometimes there are problems and tempers, but overall, I think this pregnancy is better than the last. At least I know what to expect.
Ryan has truly shown that he is a good kor-kor. He has been maturing with the pregnancy and now, I think he is ready to receive his sister. Just now he told me that he was afraid of his sister. When asked why, he said "Because I am afraid she will crawl away and I will lose her". That was so sweet of him. I don't think I talked like that when I had my brother. The entire thing seemed like a big blur to me. Ryan has also been very proud and talks about his sister to whoever is willing to listen. Everyone in school now knows the sister's name and when she is coming out. His pretence of having a baby too has been helping him understand the difficulties of having a big belly. I noticed whenever he has his bolster in his pants, he will have difficulties in sitting down too. So, he understands when I say I cannot sit on the floor because of my big belly.
Hubby has been very good this time round. Apart from not mentioning his mother in my pregnancy, there was also a show of good support. He may not always be by my side nor is he always on my side, but I guess time has helped us learn to understand each other better. His relationship with Ryan has improved tremendously in the last 12 months, not sure if it is because Ryan has grown up and is now more attached to his dad or his dad has matured and has grown more attached to the son. Either way, it is definitely more pleasant now. I just hope that the addition will add more zen to the relationship rather than create ripples.
Me? Well, I am the usual control and worry freak. I honestly am not surprised if my hair turns all white by the time I hit 40. With Ryan, I was more relaxed, not knowing anything better. With this one, I have most of the details thought through and worked out. I also worry more, having read more and realised more things. Not sure if being knowledgeable is a good thing. I heard once that a mother's love is like an apple tree. For every branch that grows out, there will always be a place for an apple to grow. Much like that, for every addition of the family, a mother's love will grow and nobody will be deprived of love, time maybe, but not the love showered on them.
With the adjustment phase setting in, this blog will take a break for a while till the adjustments are done and life picks up again.
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