Megan's arrival

Megan finally arrived on Friday at 10.40am weighing 3.92kg.

It was an eventful morning as I had a late night before - some cleaning and tidying to be done, apart from updates on blogs.

In the morning, I was up by 6am, but decided to stay in till about 6.30am. Then went to wake hubby up and packed some stuff up into the bags. Mum and dad arrived shortly and then brother came too. They were in charged of Ryan while hubby and I go to the hospital first.

We had intended to leave at about 7am, to be at the hospital at 8am. As usual, we were fashionably late and only left about 7.45am. Got to the hospital at about 8.30am, had to wait till about 9am to get myself into the ward - No. 314-1. The gynae was already looking for me - Mana itu orang??

I was a bit nervous when I arrived at the ward. A bit of me wanted to chicken out. I was really nervous when the clocked neared 10am and the anesthetist walked in telling me about the procedure and also asking if I am sure I do not want an epidural instead.

Then, the nurses came and took my pressure, fetal heart beat etc. Then I had to changed into the hospital gown. By 10am, they were wheeling me into the OT. My parents arrived shortly after with Ryan in tow. He was running towards me and refused to let me go. When I was finally wheeled in, he was screaming, my heart broke. I tried not to cry too, but it was so difficult. I was still emotional that morning, these pregnancy hormones were really running wild.

In the OT, the attendants were all very nice. I was pushed onto the operation table and then had my heart beat monitor all hooked up. Think they also monitored my pressure. The anesthetist walked in and told me it was time to sleep. My gynae was also in the house, though I cannot see him. Then I received 2 jabs on my left hand and I was given oxygen ... and then I was knocked out.

By the time I gained consciousness, my baby was out. I heard voices and tried to open my eyes. Some people were around me, nurses I think. I drifted in and out and when I finally opened my eyes,
I was in my room already. Earlier on, there were no single rooms, thankfully when I was out, one was available to me. Room 304. I must remember these details - they are pretty important to me personally.

I can't really remember who I saw first, my mum was definitely there and nobody saw my baby yet. My mum said everyone was there - hubby, Ryan, brother, mum and dad. Wonder why I had no recollection? But I remembered saying that I was in a lot of pain. After a while, I remember they brought my baby to me and then everything else was a blur.

She was bundled in pink and I was told she weigh slightly lesser than Ryan. I am thinking that had we waited till her due date, she would have been as heavy, if not more, than Ryan. Good, big babies are always easier to handle, esp. for someone as rough as me. I cannot remember the exact moment which I fed her, I only remember the whole day being a total daze to me. I distinctly remembered the pain.

I am not sure if it is an age thing or that this is the second op. Apparently the second time round can be more painful, not sure why though. With Ryan, I could get up the next day and started walking. This time, I was confined to the bed for 2 days before I could get up. The confinement to the bed is bad enough to break anybody's mood. It was terrible. Every movement spelt pain and every single shake to the bed brought vibrations to the body too.

Ryan was there the whole day when Megan arrived, so he was very excited. He kept touching and calling me and shaking my bed! It was so painful for me .... stressed me a little too. But Ryan was such a dear to me that I cannot bear to say otherwise to him.

When Ryan first saw Megan, I was worried about his reaction - would he slapped her? would he reject her? Thankfully, he was very receptive of her and also very proud of her. He kept saying "This is MY sister - Megan". He was also very excited about the present she brought him and he was very excited with the present he had prepared for her.

I had read about this gift exchange and decided to practice it. I had bought Ryan a Mickey Mouse Club house Mega Blocks assemble. It is his current favourite and figured he can share this with Megan later. And I got Ryan a box for him to put in his presents to Megan. He ended up putting some of his toys in it and said that he wants to share it with her. So sweet of him.

The entire hospital stay was a little stressful for me, esp. when everyone was in the room and Ryan running around. Hubby stayed on with me throughout the nights I was there while mum accompanied me in the afternoons. Ryan continued with school and on non-school days, he was with nanny. Megan was kept with me throughout the day and was sent back to the nursery at night. She was brought to me when she needs feeding though, so you can imagine all the interruptions I have during the night. I am thankful that I have great support this time and it helps to lessen the stress in the post op period.

I had to deal with the pain, nursing Megan, eating horrible hospital food and basically not being able to move around much. Imagine the me you know ... and then minus all the mobility out of me. Can you imagine how miserable I was?? And then there is the dependency on family members and the hospital staff - made me feel like I was totally useless at that time. Ryan's remark of nobody reading to him at night made everything felt even worse.

With most mothers, there is this worry about whether you would be able to feed your baby sufficiently. I had that question with Ryan, now my question is "What am I going to do with all these excess milk?"I had severe engorgement and it was really painful for me. I used all sorts of known methods to deal with it, but still, the problem persists. (I am happy to say that I feel better today though).

Monday came and I was really looking forward to going back. We finally left the hospital at about 1-ish. The first thing I did was to bathe and wash my hair. It was not exactly great, because I had to use herbal water, but definitely better than not bathing and washing at all!

The first day at home with Megan was also a little stressful for me, but till today, it seems to be working out fine. I am looking forward to a great motherhood experience with my little girl just as I had with Ryan.