Last night while putting Dylan to sleep, he stood up and was trying very hard to balance himself. After a boyish smile, he looked at me as if saying "Can I do it? I want to!" And he did - Dylan took a small step forward, then another, before he sat down smiling, pleased with himself.
I cheered him and quickly cuddled him up. Darn! I should have made him do it again, but then, I was too excited.
My baby took a small step forward to start a life of unending journey, one giant leap into the world in front of him. I am so proud of my baby.
Here's to another day of development, another day of cheering, another day of miracles.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
14th March 2012
Hmm ... most days passes by us with no sure meaning except for birthdays, anniversaries, school term start day, etc. Well, for us, we have added in another date to the list - 14th March 2012.
A day before that, I had brought Megan to a clinic to check her blood as she was bruising in an alarming manner, where her knees and shins are. I had initially thought it was just some knocks she had while playing. When it became 2 new bruises a day, something in me stirred. When the clinic we normally go to did not have the relevant test tube for abnormal bleeding test, my parents came to the rescue and brought Megan to a medical centre where her blood results were known within the hour - she had abnormally high levels of white blood counts (WBC) while her platelets were very low, which explained why she was bruising.
We got into a hospital in Ampang and were told either she has a very severe viral infection which can trigger the bleeding, or she has leukemia. We were told to be prepared for the worst. Fingers crossed, we prayed hard for the results the next day. I remembered being ushered into the clinic of the doctor and was told "Megan is confirmed, she has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL)". I felt the earth moved that day as I burst out crying in front of the doctor. I was clutching Megan with all my might as I wished that it was a mistake. Surely, it can't be!
After that, we had to move to another hospital in Subang as the current hospital did not have the facilities. Everything became a blur after that moment - the discharge, the drive home to have her bathed and packed, the waiting moments in the new hospital, the wheel chair ride .... to the room - 255. It was night and it was quiet, it was eerie, to think that we have a sick child.
We stayed a week in Subang, with drugs given everyday, nurses coming in and doctors visiting. We had questions, wonders, regret, what-ifs, unbearable pain and tears. It was too overwhelming, I was in tears most of the time. My hubby said I cannot cry in front of the kids, the bathroom became my solitary place, where I would cry and kneel and beg for miracles. I was so torn, I could not imagine the future and what will happen to my little girl.
In the last 3 weeks, I have learned that life is very fragile, that life is very precious, that life is so taken for granted that it has a nasty way to shake us up. I also felt very blessed despite this as there were people who prayed for us, friends, family, even strangers, people who held prayer group for Megan, people who included her in their prayer list, people who lent a ear, people who let me cry, people who cried with me, people who brought us coffee, roti canai, chee cheong fun, smiles, to us when we were in the hospital, indeed, these are the people who became angels in our trying moments. Thank you.
These trying moments have also brought us closer to God, the one source of life which I have also taken for granted. I have felt his presence in the quiet of the night, in the halls of the hospital, in the deep sad part of my heart, in my little girl. I once read that "He will not put on us something we cannot bear", and I have held on to it. I believe that everything happened as a piece of His puzzle for us, that this is part of a master plan for us.
We are moving into Week 4 now and will stay on course for the next 100 weeks. It will take us 2 years to kill it off, we will have a lifetime to tell our story. For now, we will take a day at a time, we will continue to pray, we will fight this, and we will triumph over it.
A day before that, I had brought Megan to a clinic to check her blood as she was bruising in an alarming manner, where her knees and shins are. I had initially thought it was just some knocks she had while playing. When it became 2 new bruises a day, something in me stirred. When the clinic we normally go to did not have the relevant test tube for abnormal bleeding test, my parents came to the rescue and brought Megan to a medical centre where her blood results were known within the hour - she had abnormally high levels of white blood counts (WBC) while her platelets were very low, which explained why she was bruising.
We got into a hospital in Ampang and were told either she has a very severe viral infection which can trigger the bleeding, or she has leukemia. We were told to be prepared for the worst. Fingers crossed, we prayed hard for the results the next day. I remembered being ushered into the clinic of the doctor and was told "Megan is confirmed, she has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL)". I felt the earth moved that day as I burst out crying in front of the doctor. I was clutching Megan with all my might as I wished that it was a mistake. Surely, it can't be!
After that, we had to move to another hospital in Subang as the current hospital did not have the facilities. Everything became a blur after that moment - the discharge, the drive home to have her bathed and packed, the waiting moments in the new hospital, the wheel chair ride .... to the room - 255. It was night and it was quiet, it was eerie, to think that we have a sick child.
We stayed a week in Subang, with drugs given everyday, nurses coming in and doctors visiting. We had questions, wonders, regret, what-ifs, unbearable pain and tears. It was too overwhelming, I was in tears most of the time. My hubby said I cannot cry in front of the kids, the bathroom became my solitary place, where I would cry and kneel and beg for miracles. I was so torn, I could not imagine the future and what will happen to my little girl.
In the last 3 weeks, I have learned that life is very fragile, that life is very precious, that life is so taken for granted that it has a nasty way to shake us up. I also felt very blessed despite this as there were people who prayed for us, friends, family, even strangers, people who held prayer group for Megan, people who included her in their prayer list, people who lent a ear, people who let me cry, people who cried with me, people who brought us coffee, roti canai, chee cheong fun, smiles, to us when we were in the hospital, indeed, these are the people who became angels in our trying moments. Thank you.
These trying moments have also brought us closer to God, the one source of life which I have also taken for granted. I have felt his presence in the quiet of the night, in the halls of the hospital, in the deep sad part of my heart, in my little girl. I once read that "He will not put on us something we cannot bear", and I have held on to it. I believe that everything happened as a piece of His puzzle for us, that this is part of a master plan for us.
We are moving into Week 4 now and will stay on course for the next 100 weeks. It will take us 2 years to kill it off, we will have a lifetime to tell our story. For now, we will take a day at a time, we will continue to pray, we will fight this, and we will triumph over it.
Monday, February 13, 2012
So far ...
It has been almost a year since I left my job. It was about middle of February last year when I left for my pre delivery leave and since then it has been a whole year of adventure for me.
How do I find it so far? Hmm ... I must say that it is very liberating. Liberating in the sense that I do not have to plan my errands and children around my office hours, nor the official 5 days of the work week. I know that if I have a 3 hour lunch, I can, and nobody is going to give me some sarcastic remark. If I want to cut, dye and highlight my hair, I can do it in the middle of the day when the crowd is lesser and I do not have to leave work early nor steal time away. I can show up at pre views when the doors open and not have to worry about my work, conference calls, meetings, bosses, etc. etc.
However, as with all things, this does not come without any cost. Sometimes, when you have so much flexibility, you inadvertently head towards a lot more tension relieving activities rather than goal achieving ones. Like, you tend to take more naps, watch tv in the middle of the day, go for tea and then shopping ... or you get carried away with the kids, and then there is the meal preparation which takes hours to prepare and minutes to finish!!
But all in all, life has been good. So now, I have to start recording some of it here .... can't believe it has been over a month since I last updated!!
How do I find it so far? Hmm ... I must say that it is very liberating. Liberating in the sense that I do not have to plan my errands and children around my office hours, nor the official 5 days of the work week. I know that if I have a 3 hour lunch, I can, and nobody is going to give me some sarcastic remark. If I want to cut, dye and highlight my hair, I can do it in the middle of the day when the crowd is lesser and I do not have to leave work early nor steal time away. I can show up at pre views when the doors open and not have to worry about my work, conference calls, meetings, bosses, etc. etc.
However, as with all things, this does not come without any cost. Sometimes, when you have so much flexibility, you inadvertently head towards a lot more tension relieving activities rather than goal achieving ones. Like, you tend to take more naps, watch tv in the middle of the day, go for tea and then shopping ... or you get carried away with the kids, and then there is the meal preparation which takes hours to prepare and minutes to finish!!
But all in all, life has been good. So now, I have to start recording some of it here .... can't believe it has been over a month since I last updated!!
Friday, December 30, 2011
As the year ends ...
Today shall be the last Friday of the year. It has been a really long and eventful year for me. So much has changed and so much has happened. But, for me, the good memories are to be shared, while I wipe out the nasty ones. The positive ones for me (in no particular order) are:
1) I celebrated one year in my new house.
2) Dylan was born, safe and healthy.
3) I had a good confinement lady.
4) All my family members are healthy and happy.
5) I achieved my Hollywood challenge trip for this year.
6) Ryan breezed through his entrance exam for Standard 1 and was accepted.
7) Ryan completed his kindergarten years.
8) I attended both Megan and Ryan's orientation days, signalling a new phase in both their (and my) life.
9) My help at home has been good to us.
10) The sales bargains (esp. books) has been awesome this year - we need this from the way the income and expenses has been behaving.
11) Dylan started teething, sitting, crawling and cruising ... with relatively little pain.
12) I had 3 months maternity leave, which gave me the opportunity to do the one thing that this year has so far been the best ...
13) I quit employment after 13 years in it!
I am sure there are plenty more but this is what I have at one sitting.
Here's to 2012!!
1) I celebrated one year in my new house.
2) Dylan was born, safe and healthy.
3) I had a good confinement lady.
4) All my family members are healthy and happy.
5) I achieved my Hollywood challenge trip for this year.
6) Ryan breezed through his entrance exam for Standard 1 and was accepted.
7) Ryan completed his kindergarten years.
8) I attended both Megan and Ryan's orientation days, signalling a new phase in both their (and my) life.
9) My help at home has been good to us.
10) The sales bargains (esp. books) has been awesome this year - we need this from the way the income and expenses has been behaving.
11) Dylan started teething, sitting, crawling and cruising ... with relatively little pain.
12) I had 3 months maternity leave, which gave me the opportunity to do the one thing that this year has so far been the best ...
13) I quit employment after 13 years in it!
I am sure there are plenty more but this is what I have at one sitting.
Here's to 2012!!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Dylan sits ... and crawls
Dylan has progressed so much in the last month or so. At 8 months plus he went from crawling to sitting almost over night. And this boy has lots to look forward to especially when his two older siblings are so active.
Here he is seen under the Christmas tree where he finds it most amusing with the lights, colour and the many ornaments that he can pluck off the tree. His hands are really strong and he is able to prop himself up and is really very steady indeed!
Here he is seen under the Christmas tree where he finds it most amusing with the lights, colour and the many ornaments that he can pluck off the tree. His hands are really strong and he is able to prop himself up and is really very steady indeed!
Dylan has a very different way to sit - he is usually one sided ... I really love this pose. Apart from giving me so much pleasure to see him sit, he is also relatively safe ... cause he will not fall behind or by the side when he sits!
After kid number 3, I still never fail to be amazed by the way they develop and learn. They really demonstrate a strong will to persist and learn - I hope to be able to preserve this in them for as long as I can.
Till another development then ...
Thursday, November 24, 2011
My baby leaves school
It was just like yesterday when I sent Ryan to school for the very first time. I still remember all the guilt I had when I sent him at 3 years old. He was still a baby then, still nursing and still with diapers.
After 4 years there, today, we have to move on and close this chapter of his life as we embark on the next phase.
As always, I will pick him up on the first and last day of the year, today I did that too. In the car, I explained to the best I can for him to understand that the journey has been long and was filled with joy, laughter, tears and sometimes frustration. But I said that this part is now closed and we will move on to another school with good things to come.
I am not sure if he understands it fully, but he expressed some sadness as he said he wants to always remain where he is ... he loves the play concept very much!
Tomorrow marks a new journey for me as I will undergo orientation for Megan ... and I am sure it will be an eventful journey for all of us.
After 4 years there, today, we have to move on and close this chapter of his life as we embark on the next phase.
As always, I will pick him up on the first and last day of the year, today I did that too. In the car, I explained to the best I can for him to understand that the journey has been long and was filled with joy, laughter, tears and sometimes frustration. But I said that this part is now closed and we will move on to another school with good things to come.
I am not sure if he understands it fully, but he expressed some sadness as he said he wants to always remain where he is ... he loves the play concept very much!
Tomorrow marks a new journey for me as I will undergo orientation for Megan ... and I am sure it will be an eventful journey for all of us.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Ryan participates and wins!
In this last week, Ryan has taken part in 2 quiz sessions and he won! Ok ok, some may say it is no big deal, but I am his mother, and I think it is a very big deal!
So last Tuesday, after we finished his music class, we hung around till about 7pm where the centre had a pretty Japanese girl come to perform and sell the features of their electone and piano. After some playing, she announced that there will be some questions and if the kids answered them correctly, they will get a small keyboard like pouch.
When she played that Korean song "Nobody Nobody But You", Ryan's hand shot up and answered the title of the song. He got a red pouch. Then he said "I want one for my sister". So when the next quiz came on the instruments that was played on the electone, his hand shot up again and he answered "Piano". This time he got a block pouch. He happily declared that he was going to get another one for Dylan.
Unfortunately, on his third attempt, the lady said that they have to give other kids a chance ... so Ryan's hopes were dashed. No matter, I still praised him for a good effort put in. The pouches were later filled with sweets from the centre and presented to the sister - both were delighted!
Yesterday, we participated in another one. It was the cast of Aladdin at MPH Mid Valley. They came to introduce themselves and later tell a story. After that the kids were asked questions.
The first question was answered wrongly and Ryan felt his ego hurt when kids laughed at him. Early start to teaching him it is ok to be wrong and laughed at so long as learn and move on.
The second one was answered quickly when asked who did Aladdin love, or something like that...I was too excited to remember the exact thing. For getting that right (and the effort put in), he won 2 tickets to watch Aladdin the musical at Sunway Lagoon. But hor, they are very clever, give you 2 tickets ... you still need to buy extra ones if you want to go as a family. Which makes me think now ... should I buy 2 more or should I just make do with 2 tickets? Meaning I will just bring Ryan to the musical since he won it ... Hmmm ...
But coming back, Ryan gave good tries to both and I am really proud that he did not need me to poke him into participating. He did that all by himself. Looking forward to the next ones ...
So last Tuesday, after we finished his music class, we hung around till about 7pm where the centre had a pretty Japanese girl come to perform and sell the features of their electone and piano. After some playing, she announced that there will be some questions and if the kids answered them correctly, they will get a small keyboard like pouch.
When she played that Korean song "Nobody Nobody But You", Ryan's hand shot up and answered the title of the song. He got a red pouch. Then he said "I want one for my sister". So when the next quiz came on the instruments that was played on the electone, his hand shot up again and he answered "Piano". This time he got a block pouch. He happily declared that he was going to get another one for Dylan.
Unfortunately, on his third attempt, the lady said that they have to give other kids a chance ... so Ryan's hopes were dashed. No matter, I still praised him for a good effort put in. The pouches were later filled with sweets from the centre and presented to the sister - both were delighted!
Yesterday, we participated in another one. It was the cast of Aladdin at MPH Mid Valley. They came to introduce themselves and later tell a story. After that the kids were asked questions.
The first question was answered wrongly and Ryan felt his ego hurt when kids laughed at him. Early start to teaching him it is ok to be wrong and laughed at so long as learn and move on.
The second one was answered quickly when asked who did Aladdin love, or something like that...I was too excited to remember the exact thing. For getting that right (and the effort put in), he won 2 tickets to watch Aladdin the musical at Sunway Lagoon. But hor, they are very clever, give you 2 tickets ... you still need to buy extra ones if you want to go as a family. Which makes me think now ... should I buy 2 more or should I just make do with 2 tickets? Meaning I will just bring Ryan to the musical since he won it ... Hmmm ...
But coming back, Ryan gave good tries to both and I am really proud that he did not need me to poke him into participating. He did that all by himself. Looking forward to the next ones ...
Friday, November 11, 2011
111111
Isn't that a special date? I am out as I am posting this, gonna buy chocolate ice cream to celebrate with my brood later.
Have a good night ahead!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Gymboree, here I come again!
Today I decided to enroll Megan into Gymboree, after more than 10 months of deliberation. Yes, you can call me a terrible mum ...
When Ryan was 2 years old, we made a choice to enroll him because he was the only child then and he did not really have any exposure to other children. He was all alone, to my eyes and I figured then he needed to know that there are other little children in his world. So, that decision was easy.
This time round, with Megan, it was different. The reason for sending Ryan did not exist with Megan. She grew up with Ryan fussing and fighting with her, so she is very aware of other children. She also made friends with the kids in the park, so much for other children.
However, I was afraid that she may not really understand or share similar things with Ryan. Gymboree was really fun. If we did not send her, she would not know who is Gymbo the clown, she will not be enjoying some of the CDs we have bought for Ryan to jump and sing and spin. She won't also enjoy life under the big tent ...
So, today, the decision was made. We will send her for 12 short weeks and then she will be off to school. Hope she will enjoy herself and learn from the whole affair.
When Ryan was 2 years old, we made a choice to enroll him because he was the only child then and he did not really have any exposure to other children. He was all alone, to my eyes and I figured then he needed to know that there are other little children in his world. So, that decision was easy.
This time round, with Megan, it was different. The reason for sending Ryan did not exist with Megan. She grew up with Ryan fussing and fighting with her, so she is very aware of other children. She also made friends with the kids in the park, so much for other children.
However, I was afraid that she may not really understand or share similar things with Ryan. Gymboree was really fun. If we did not send her, she would not know who is Gymbo the clown, she will not be enjoying some of the CDs we have bought for Ryan to jump and sing and spin. She won't also enjoy life under the big tent ...
So, today, the decision was made. We will send her for 12 short weeks and then she will be off to school. Hope she will enjoy herself and learn from the whole affair.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Morning before 7am
Dylan woke up with a leaked diaper and fever. Vomited when I fed him medicine, so we all got to change.
Then I fed Megan ... And she says "thank you so much mummy". All worth it, all before 7am too!
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