Thursday, June 28, 2012

Almost a year out of employment!

Wow!! Time really flies! July 2011 was the last month I collected my employment cheque. Unfortunately, it was credited into my bank account, so it did not made an impact as it should have on me.

This month, I made my record low in terms of income, could not believe it!! All the hospital visits with little Megan has limited my time to work. But with each visit, we are nearer to the completion of her treatment, so it is worth it.

Sometimes I question myself - would it have been better staying on a job? Sometimes I wonder if it was worth coming out on my own into the big bad world.

Then I see my Ryan smiling at me when he comes home from school. I see him when I surprise him and pick him up from school. "Mummy!", he would call out. I wonder how long he will be delighted to see, how long before he becomes a cranky tween, a grumpy teenager? Or when he thinks it is not cool to be picked up by mummy? Hmmm...

I also see little Megan coming to me in the middle of the day and asking for her "Milk, milk". Or when she lies on the hospital bed, so helpless and depending on me to help her get better. Or those times she will ask me to watch Mamma Mia with her and see her dancing in my heels?

I also see Dylan more than my other two babies. I used to rush off to work in the morning and send them out early, picking them late. With Dylan, I enjoy the morning walks, I enjoy the fact that I can send him at my own time. I like the fact I can cook his meals, feed him and clean his poop in the morning. All the things which will go by quickly.

So, is it worth it? Every damn second of it! Money is not as good as before, but the time I get in return is worth so much more.

As I write this, I remember still being at work and frantically churnin numbers for bosses. Now, I am gonna be playing with the kids in the garden, gonna be blowing some bubbles and cooking them a home cook meal too.

We need to make choices everyday, make them wisely!

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