Making my first dream board for 2010

This is my dream board. And this is the first time that I am doing something like this. It details 5 broad areas of my life which I want to focus on in 2010.

From the top left, there is a financial challenge which I want to fulfil. Once it is achieved, I will get a chance to visit the country where the Maori dancers live. And so the hunt begins ...

In the top middle is a place where I hold dear - my family. The words clearly tell how I feel and the kitchen tells the story of where I believe a family is united after a day's, week's of hard work. And so they become my garden of inspiration ...

Towards the bottom left talks about social responsibility. I feel that this is a very important area for everyone especially us parents who inspire to leave the world a better place for our future generations. For this area, my 2 key focus is to be more environmentally friendly - recycle! and also to adopt a child a year. By the time I reach my retirement age, I would have 20 kids!

Bottom centre talks about eating healthy, delicious food and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. More trips to the gym, daily walks around the block in my new place. More spiritual awareness, maintaining balance and harmony in life.

I have allocated the entire right space to things that I want to have for my family and myself - good things. Things which I can have without having to sacrifice our retirement and education funds. Luxury is never an option ...

When I was putting this together, Ryan was busy trying to help and was curious about what I was doing. I told him that this is a dream board which will help realise our goals. His association was immediately with MONEY, hehe. Great start eh?

Here's to a great 2010!

I am not sure how I feel now ...

Today Ryan went back with my mum to PD. And I cannot describe how I feel now. Strange. I thought I should feel relieved, because there was a lot of stress in the last 1 week. Ryan got sick, work was a little stressed, then Ryan went into a relapsed, then I was told by the eye doctor that he possibly needed glasses, hubby was edgy as well, men, then Megan got sick last night. Sigh, the whole week has been a non-stop drama.

When my mum said she wants the kids, I was like "Woo hoo!" Freedom for a week. I was to go back this Friday to fetch them back. At least a few nights on my own, to do my thing.

And then, today, we decided that Megan stays behind with us while Ryan goes home with my mum. I was told that as soon as we were out of sight, he started to cry all the way to PD. He had wanted my dad to turn around and he said he misses us and wants to come home. My heart broke.

What I thought would be a few funs nights now feels like something I do not need after all. I would much prefer that the nights that Ryan was around adding to the fun and flavour with Megan's constant laughter.

I will be going to fetch him this Friday with Megan. Can't wait to see him.

Megan walks @ 10+months

My little baby first attempted her little steps some weeks back. She was not very stable and would be falling quite a bit. However, unlike Ryan, Megan is able to balance herself and usually eases herself to the ground instead of falling flat.

Because of this, Megan seldom had accidents while learning to walk. At most, she will sit down hard.

That was some weeks back. These few days, she has been steadier and is able to walk about 10+ feet before sitting down. I think her little legs are still a little shaky. But I am proud of her, and she is proud of herself too. She cannot stop beaming at herself.

So there, another milestone to little Megan ... she starts walking at 10+ months.

And today, it is her 11th month .... next month I will be having her 1 year old birthday party. Isn't it great?

My mentor passed on ...

It is rare indeed for us to be able to find someone whom we can regard as a mentor. Someone who makes sense, someone who has been through it all, someone who has lived to tell the tale, someone who got through to you. For me, that someone was Jim Rohn.

I got to know about him through a friend. I was hooked from the time I heard him say "Thank you" to the thunderous applause he received while conducting one of his sales seminars. I have since been listening to his audio programs and have been reading his books.

And today, I learnt that he has passed on. He left to be in a better place yesterday, 5 December 2009. He has been suffering from Pulmonary Fibrosis for the past 18 months. However, knowing him, Jim would have fought until the last breath and would have continued to inspire and lead the life he has always been talking about.

Someone once said “when you are born you enter the world crying while everyone else is rejoicing and when you die hopefully you have lived such a life that everyone will be crying while you are rejoicing”. Jim Rohn lived such a life.

To me, I am grateful that Jim came to this world, grateful that I was introduced to him, grateful for his teachings, grateful for his ways. I will always remember one key thought he had which had touched me .... "Life is not designed to give you what you want. Life is designed to give you what you deserve. "

Well said dear Jim Rohn. May you rest in peace. You legend lives on.

Tender moments with my kids

Both my kids are quite different in their own styles. One of it has to do with sleep.

When Ryan was a baby, he slept in the sarung and we would put him in and set the electronic timer in motion and voila! he will soon be in la-la land. However, we were always fearful about the times we would be away on holiday, how will we be dragging the sarung etc. around??

With Megan, we have conditioned her to sleep on the bed. Although she is on the sarung in nanny's house, at home, she goes on the bed.

Because they both have different bedtimes, Megan about 9-ish while Ryan is about 10-ish, the juggling has to be done right so that while I put Megan to sleep, Ryan is occupied with activities, toys, games etc. so that he does not feel left out.

Tonight was no different and he was on the NET playing with his Handy Manny game. I had gone to put Megan to sleep at 9.30pm and by 10.15pm, she was still nursing! Wow, I had not realised cause I drifted off to la-la land already. What woke me was Ryan's soft steps into the room, he wanted to tell me that the computer had stopped working and he wanted me to go have a look.

I gave him a hand gesture which said "Wait, I will come". He looked at me and then he walked out. Some minutes later, I could feel him next to me cause he got bored outside. This time, he gave me a smile. I gestured the same. After a long while, I could not hear him nor see him. Hmm, quite unusual.

When Megan finally drifted off, I went out to find Ryan playing quietly with his toys and he was telling me "Mummy, I want bread, I am so hungry." Wow, I felt so proud of him, cause I thought that he was actually quite matured considering he is only 4 years old.

Later we sat down for a light supper, fresh milk with biscuits and bread. He was happy all the way and finally went to sleep at 11pm. Barely 10 minutes and he already went off to a good night's rest.

While he was sleeping, I lay beside him watching him sleep and wondered where did all those nights go where I had to pacify him when he was sick, when he was agitated by his tooth growing, the nights when he would nurse and refused to be put down on the bed, the nights I lost my cool and the nights when he was still in my bed. Now, my little baby is growing to be on his own and insist that he sleeps with daddy cause he has his own mattress, he is insisting that he does things on his own simply because he is a "big boy". Sometimes he pushes me away saying that he does not need my help. While I am proud, I am also tearful, although they are tears of joy and pride.

When I sleep at night with Megan and I wake with her by my side, I cannot help but to wonder when she will also tell me that she does not need me, when she will finally graduate from mummy's bed to her own. Megan now takes comfort in knowing that I am around her when she fusses at night. She will soon one day be able to comfort herself quite well without me. I cannot wait for that to happen because it means she has grown really well, but to some extent I also dread that moment. Selfish me ya?

Sigh, these are tender moments in my life which I would protect and preserve for me to reflect and smile, one fine day in the future. What are some of your tender moments with your kids?

Goddess of Mercy

When I was a little girl, my mum fed me with Bovril one time and I developed rashes on my arms. I do not know why parents then did not think about the doctor, but instead brought me to the temple. Apparently, I have "Kuan Yin bones", which means I cannot touch anything with beef in it. Not only that, I was "given" to Kuan Yin (Goddess of Mercy) as her god daughter.

Fast forward till today, I was told that "giving" my kids to the Goddess of Mercy will mean that they will be well looked after and will be under her protection all the time. Now, which mother will not be happy with that?

After a visit to the temple, we found a auspicious date - 18th Nov 2009 - which was to be the date that my kids will be having Goddess of Mercy as their god mother.

The time was to be between 11am and 1pm. I took leave to be with them on this day. I was to prepare a set of clothes for both of them, bowls, chopsticks, rice, some kuih, flowers and fruits. After some prayers, my kids' clothes were imprinted with the seal.

It was a simple affair but was solemn. I am very particular about the safety of my kids and this is something I consider a necessity. I will have to bring them to the temple on the 3 birthdays of the Goddess of Mercy. When they are 18 years old, I will have to perform a simple ritual to thank the Goddess of Mercy and to "release" her of them.

Some will argue that this is not possible and may even be superstitious, but in my mind, I have peace and so, I do it.

Here's to Kuan Yin then, my kids' safety need your divine intervention, especially in the horrid world we live in today. May they be safe today and everyday.

Megan refuses to sleep!

Now, this is not her fault.

Megan to date is still napping 3 times a day, each lasting about 30mins or so. Usually it is once in the morning, mid afternoon and early evening. By 9.30pm, she will be ready for bed.....that is if I am taking care of her.

When she is with the nanny, I suspect she is put to sleep whenever she gets irritable. So if I go fetch her at 8-ish, then she would already be napping. This is fine except that when she gets home, she refuses to sleep!

For a few days in a row now, we have gone to fetch her and she is already in her sarung. Hmph. Not very happy is how I am feeling now. The last 2 nights have seen her sleeping at about 11pm-12am. It is terrible for me because I would not be able to do most of the things I am wanting to.

I think I will tell nanny again tomorrow about this sleep pattern. Either that or I have to be back earlier. Really cannot wait till the day I no longer have to think about these alternatives.

What about you? Any experience like this? Did you confront the nanny?

Megan turns 10 months old

My little baby is 10 months old today. And like any proud mother, I secretly think that she is above average in her development.

Below are things which she is supposed to be able to do.

1) She discovers new ways to play. I think it is more of a case that Megan is able to experiment more with her toys since she has Ryan to look up to. Also, there are more varieties for her to explore since Ryan was packed with toys.

2) Megan started creeping quite early on and is now super fast in getting from one chair to another. 2 days ago, she walked one step free hand. Yesterday, she took 2 baby steps free hand before she reached for the sofa.

3) Megan is supposedly mastered the art of gripping with thumb and forefinger. I think she did this earlier on too. She has also started to rip apart papers. I actually encourage this since by the time she out grows this phase, my books and mags are safe.

I practised this with Ryan and he used to tear up my Time mags. After this phase, he has not torn up a single book or mag of mine.

4) I do not think that Megan is particularly friendly towards people, especially people whom she has not seen before. But once she knows you, she will have no problems babbling non-stop, especially when she is in a talkative mood.

5) She has also recently taken on to pointing things. We started with lights and fan and now she is able to point to these things when we ask her. However, she does not perform this for strangers, so this will take some time.

6) Megan also takes on her porridge very well. Sometimes when she is hungry, she will display am impatient stance and will start to grab the plate before it is fed to her!

Wah, so fast ... 10 months has gone by. I still remember my arrival at the hospital where I went to perform the surgery to see my little Megan.

Looking forward to month 11 now ...

Belated entry - Our first outing to KLCC

I cannot believe I actually did not blog about this!

When Megan was born, I was thinking about when I would be able to bring the two of them out to the mall or the park by myself. The reason is because I have this phobia about on how they would both behave and how they would both want different things at the same time.

However, September 26th 2009 marked the day I first ventured out to the big bad world with my 2 babies.

This was the state of the usually full car park in KLCC on a Saturday morning. I was a little concerned about having a screaming baby in the car while looking for a car park, so we all headed down really early.

This was our breakfast. Ryan is mad about his sugar donut and I love my Zest.

We later went to Isetan where Ryan went on his usual round of playing with the toys there. I have a rule on this - only see, no buy. Only when I think I want to, I will splurge on some toys for them, but I do not buy when they are around - bad bad bad.

We close the day with a ride on the amusement rides. This particular one is RM2 per ride and it can accomodate 3 kids. As you can see, my 2 are truly enjoying themselves. I was half afraid that Megan would fall off.

But I had to almost peel her hands off, she was holding on so tight!

A ride with the Paddington Bear. Ryan was holding on to little Megan with all his might. Clearly, he was just as afraid that she would fall off too.

All in all, it was a wonderful day. Short of one incident with Ryan almost having a melt down, the whole outing went really well. And I am happy to report that there have been several others since then. I will post when I finally have the photos up!

Transferring pain

2 weeks ago, the baby sitter called and said that Ryan was having high fever and he vomited. I rushed home to bring him to the doctor's.

On the way, he was really quiet and he was also very hot from the fever. In the middle of the drive, he said that he was having stomach pain. I think he was in real pain since he was scrunching his face very badly.

I held his little hand while driving and asked him to squeeze me every time the pain came. He asked why. I replied that when he squeezed me, he will transfer his pain to me and so, it will relieved him.

When he heard this, he simply shook his head, his hair moving along and said he does not want to see me in pain. He refused to squeeze my hand despite him having the pain. All the while, he was sobbing saying that he is in pain and he does not want anyone else to feel the same and so, he was willing to endure it rather than to transfer it to me.

I was so touched that I wanted to sob too!!

When we got to the doctor's, he sat quietly despite having other kids there. This is not his usual self at all. I am thinking what pain and discomfort he must be feeling in order for him to behave in this manner. And to think that he was willing to endure this rather than to have it come to me! I feel like crying even as I am writing this!

My sweet baby, words cannot describe my love for him.

House under renovation

I wanted to make a note here that our new house is undergoing renovation works. So exciting. Before we started, we had discussed about the plans and designs etc. However, as we go along, things seem to be changing on a daily basis as we encounter interesting changes.

People say that in order to see how strong your marriage is, one of the things to test is when you undergo renovation works. And it is true! Hubby and I have been at each other to impose our thoughts and ideals. Thankfully it has not gotten to the stage where we are strangling each other!

I guess in the end, it is ultimately the dream we have of our house. A place where we want to be in, a place to go to every night after a long day at work, a place where the kids will laugh and grow as well as the place where we will build and enhance our dreams, a place to call HOME.

It has been almost 2 weeks now ... can't wait for it to complete!

Megan crawls!

Yesterday, Megan was on the floor as usual, playing.

And then suddenly, she started to put her hands forward and she was crawling!

Yay!! I was mighty proud of her and started to clap and cheer. And she was also very proud of herself, she was grinning all the way.

Another mile stone accomplished. Isn't it great? Kids are just lovely.

How I bruised my right eye socket

Megan has this brilliant way of making me wear out easily - by insisting that she sleeps on my chest, when she feels like it.

Thing is that, she does not go to sleep quietly, she will actually plopped herself on my chest and then she will look up and then plop herself on me again, and again, and again, till she sleeps.

Tonight, this sweet action turned slightly awry, instead of plopping herself on my chest, she landed on my right eye socket. And I am sure her little head ached, cause she was screaming for a while.

I am sure my eye will feel pain tomorrow. This is the second time that it had happened on my same eye ... and the first time that it did happened, I had no idea how till I felt pain some days later!

Have you had any part of your body bruised while taking care of your kids?

Megan's porridge

We started Megan with her porridge some 3 weeks back. This was as a follow-up to her diet of baby's first cereals.

When I first started Ryan with porridge, we had used Marmite. I was also a little gung ho and started him on a lot of ingredients. I then had problems trying to determine which food group was giving him his eczema.

With Megan, I went slow and introduced one food group at a time. While it was a little nerve wrecking, it was also better. To date, Megan has eaten tomatoes, potatoes, gei zhi, quinoa, carrots, pumpkin, french beans, cauliflower, taufu, some bread and also fruits. So far, so good.

Megan is also a dear, taking all this well and willingly. The only thing is that, she has been protesting in having her teeth cleaned. She would scream each time I stick my fingers into her mouth. Sigh, how can I tell her that it is no pain and that in the long run, mummy can save money by her having clean teeth leh?

What about you? What was your experience in preparing porridge for your babies like? Mine has been filled with adventures ; )

Setting goals with Ryan

We have heard this before. In order to succeed, we must plan and set out goals. And this needs to be cultivated into a habit.

Jim Rohn was playing my car again when I was sending Ryan to school last week. And when this topic on setting goals came on, I asked Ryan what his goals are. True to his nature, a line of interesting conversation took place.

RYAN: What is goals?
ME: It means something you want, something you want to achieve.
RYAN: What is achieve?
ME: Something you want to do. Something you want to get.
RYAN: Oh, ok. Let's start with car. I want a car, I want a train, I want a truck, I want a crane, I want a bus, I want a lorry.
ME: Wow, let me write it down.
RYAN: Let's talk about animals. I also want a monkey, I want a chick, I want a tiger, I want a snake, I want a duck.
ME: Why would you want a snake?
RYAN: I like.

Later that night, we were preparing for bed and Ryan said "Mum, let's talk about my goals. Let's talk about food."

And to him, "goals" was "gold" to him cause he was going on and on about having goals which can be used to buy him books and enables him to go to school.

Hmm, not a bad start huh to getting my 4 year old started on setting goals. I shall write his next set of goals too in order to see how it will change over time.

For now, I am happy that he is linking "goals" to "gold". Should be easy to make him see the link as he gets older.

What about you? Do you set goals for yourself? Do you set goals for your children?

Megan bumps her head again!

My little girl has a knack for hurting herself.

She will literally crawl off the bed, couch or any other higher ground. And although she does not fall over when she is sitting, she has this way of "sliding" off balance a little while she is trying to reach for something and then WHAM! she hits her head.

Or sometimes when she is trying to stand and her force was too strong, she will sit herself down real hard and then WHAM! falls backward again!

And then there are the times where she will fall on her toys or her brother's toys etc.

Just a coupld of days ago, I was in the kitchen washing the dishes after dinner. I left both of them playing with toys in the living room. Half way, I heard Megan screaming. She had fallen off the couch! Apparently Ryan carried her up the couch and then she attempted to come down by crawling off it!

She got herself a brand new bruise with a bump on her forehead. Thankfully she was easily consoled. 2 days down the road, she has developed a dark bruise, but did not appear to be bothering her much. When I asked what happened, Ryan merely shrugged!

Is it just him or is this a typical boy trait?

Learning about other cultures in school

Although Deepavali was celebrated over a week ago, Ryan's school only had the affair yesterday. He was looking forward to it with much excitement although he does not really understand what it was.

When he came back home, he was telling me all about how they ate on the floor and he also ate with his hands. I actually was wondering if he actually got anything into his mouth seeing that this is not something which we do at home.

Nevertheless, he finds it interesting and I am sure some exchange of culture has taken place.

Ryan's school is indeed good in this sense. For every major festival, the school ensures that the children will celebrate it with food, customs and for those who have, costumes.

I honestly cannot remember if we did this in school. I only remembered having Children's Day and that was the day we looked forward to bringing our own food and that was also the day I get to eat all that junk without my mum giving me a hard time.

And then I find out Ryan also eats junk (some, at least) on his festival celebration days. Sigh.

Having said that though, I think it is great to have this exposure so early in school. Certainly helps in building 1 Malaysia, well, at least until the day our politicians spoil all of it!

Looking forward to Christmas now ...

Smart alec conversations with Ryan

Lately, Ryan has been building his vocabulary really quickly. And he is also getting more and more expressive when he talks. And this is of course both a joy as well as a hair tearing experience.

Some examples are ...

One morning, Ryan was really slow in finishing his breakfast in the car, so I did what every mother would do - threaten.
ME: If you do not finish your bread by the time we reach the school, I will pack everything and let you eat in front of Mrs. M (his school principal, and he is afraid of her)
RYAN: Aiyo, mummy, I don't like you always say Mrs. M, Mrs. M, Mrs. M la. I really don't like to hear it.
ME: *blink*

While in the lift one night from nanny's
RYAN: Mum, what is 1-3?
ME: Thirteen (13)
RYAN: What is 2-0?
ME: Twenty (20)
RYAN: What about 3-4?
ME: Thirty four (34)
RYAN: Wow, mum, you sure know a lot of numbers!
ME: *beam* *beam*

Plenty more to come - I lost track of all the things he said ... let me try to remember them first. Motherhood has taken a toll on my memory.

I just realised today ...

...that Megan has now officially spent more time outside of me than inside of me.

Oh how fast 9 months has been! Sometimes it is kind of scary when time flies by so quickly. But I also think that it is because we are healthy and therefore, time passes by.

And now, we are in the last quarter of the year, time to quickly re-check our 2009 new year resolutions and then start thinking about 2010's ones.

I think I am rambling on here ... I am not even sure what my initial thoughts were on this post. Sunday's syndrome I think.

Also, did you notice I changed my background to this blog? Pretty huh?

Have a good week ahead!

Megan turns 9 months old today!

Time flies really fast. Megan turns 9 months old today and she is fast progressing in terms of physical movements as well as mental absorption.

Accordingly, these are some of the things she can do now:

1) Increase in her pace of activities, from getting around the house to playing with toys, her rate of exploration is speeding up. Sometimes, I feel like I cannot keep up.

2) Megan is also supposedly to demonstrate a better memory for past events and an increased ability to solve simple problems.

Now, I am not sure if it is better memory, but I do know that she thinks repeatedly pulling my hair is funny because she always laughs mischievously every time I say "OUCH!" And her big brother is always pushing her to do it on me ... and she does! And then they both laugh out loud!

3) Megan is more cuddly and affectionate than before. But I am not sure if this is because of the female factor though. I do not remember Ryan being so cuddly. Megan would actually put her head on my chest and just stay there.

4) Megan is now creeping quite quickly now. She goes after anything that moves and will try to grab it. Usually she gets it and then she will look at us for claps. Just now she was so excited about the little chick that she bumped her head on the floor ... she was bleeding in the mouth, think her teeth cut her.

5) Megan also likes to stand. She can now stand on her own for a while longer. She usually finds something to help her lift herself and then, she will be darn proud of herself and will continuosly grin.

6) Babbling is also getting more and more apparent. However, she also screams quite a bit, especially if you take her things away.

7) To date has sampled the following food - porridge, pumpkin, tomatoes, potatoes, carrots, water melon, oranges, dragon fruits and apples. This is on top of her cereals.

8) Did I mention that her direction on the walker is almost 99% on the dot?

Think that is about it for her 9 month development. Looking for the next month as usual.

My 4 year old knows spelling and additions!

To date, Ryan knows how to spell the following:

1) O-N-E
2) T-W-O
3) T-H-R-E-E
4) F-O-U-R
5) F-I-V-E
6) S-I-X
7) S-E-V-E-N
8) His name

He learnt how to spell the numbers as a result of being with my mum for 3 days when I was in Redang. Apparently, my mum taught him this in between all the chaos you would expect when taking care of a pre-schooler and a baby. Now, how is it that I could not do this??

And that is not the only great development he has, I found out recently that he was also able to perform additions, although it is limited to the number of fingers on each hand he has. Pretty cool for a year old huh?

If you ask him what is 4 + 1? He will show 4 fingers on one hand and another 1 finger on the other hand and proceed to count all of them to obtain the answer.

I think I was in Primary 1 before I could do this ... kids nowadays really can do wonders, makes me more stressed than ever to keep up with them!

Mooncake Festival celebration & my little girls sits!

This post was meant to be posted on 2nd October 2009 - it was the moon cake festival ... and it was also the day I saw Megan sitting on her own from the creeping position.

Unlike Ryan, Megan would actually push herself up to a Cleopetra position before she pushes herself up with one hand while supporting herself with the other. When she was able to sit fully, I clapped and cheered her and she was so proud of herself that she was smiling from ear to ear.

We also discovered that she was able to stand unsupported for quite a while. And you can see how happy she is with her progress as she cannot stop grinning. Both Ryan and myself were cheering and clapping her on and you can see the sheer joy on her face.

And the wonder of it all was that she was able to sit without any incident, did not fall nor slip. I am so proud of her and I am also grinning from ear to ear. In the midst of all the excitement, I forgot to capture a photo of it. Darn!

Megan's first holiday away from home

September 19th, 2009 is the day my little princess went on her first holiday. We went to Bukit Tinggi for the night. The whole family went including my parents and brother. I was a little stressed since I was not sure how she will react to the trip ... specifically if she will be able to sleep just as well.

Here she is seen sleeping just before we left for Bukit Tinggi. Doesn't she look absolutely adorable? Thankfully, both the kids behaved well throughout the trip. The drive was good except that I felt a little dizzy going up those bends.

Cheeky Ryan seen here when we went to walk at the French street. There was a fair going on and there was a booth where you can use a long fishing rod to fish some ducks out. The numbers on the ducks tells you the size of the prizes.

Ryan's first attempt gave him a "2". It was a medium sized tiger. However, he was not happy since he had wanted a dolphin. He stood around the booth and pouted till the man manning the booth said "Aiya, here you go la." and handed him the dolphin he had wanted. Ryan was delirious!

Megan, the dolphin and Ryan seen here on the mattress the next morning after a blissful night. Ryan was kind enough to let Megan touch and feel the dolphin after holding on to it the whole night. Ryan brought his new set of colour pencils and pens to draw and colour.


The fishes at the Japanese Garden is really big. I was half afraid that Ryan will fall into the water and would be gobbled by the fishes!

Hubby went to pluck some leaves for my boy to feed the deers. Good that he was not afraid of them. However, the deers did not look very well kept. Pity.

Ryan feeding a little bunny here. All the bunnies looked like they could do with a bigger place. However, Ryan enjoyed himself tremendously.

And where was Megan? Asleep in her daddy's arms most of the time. Poor daddy had to suffer from backache from all the weight!

All in all, it was a good trip. For sure we shall repeat this some day. We were thinking of getting the kids to an island trip soon. Any ideas which island would be good?

Megan stands!

Monday was a public holiday and I was at home with the kids. While I was busy with some chores, I had put Megan in her crib. And when I put her down, she was sitting nicely.

And then suddenly, she was standing!! Yay!! She was so happy with herself that she too started clapping and then thud! She had landed on the mattress!

Up again she tried and so, she repeated her feat till she was all tired. I am sure she was just as proud of herself as I am with her.

My dear little Megan, all standing proud now : )

13 years together

13 years ago, on 17th September 1996, hubby and I got together as a couple and embrace life's journey. What a time it had been!

Many laughter, many tears and for most part of it, it was pretty cool.

We have our ups and downs and we also have a lot of silent moments in between. However, I think it is safe to say that it has been very eventful - we got 2 kids didn't we?!

As opposed to when we first started to go out and all, the celebration we had today was a simple dinner (without the kids) and then we headed home for the kids. Before, we used to take long walks and midnight conversations. Now, the hubby is asleep with the kids. How things have changed. Although I sometimes miss the way we used to celebrate, I am not complaining about the current state.

Hubby said this to me just now over dinner when I proposed we go somewhere after makan "Nothing is now more important than going home to the kids" ... wow, what a change from "Let's go somewhere nice for dinner and then we can catch a movie and then supper and then we can go for coffee/ tea and talk".

Nice change though huh?

Spoiling my kids with toys

When Ryan was a baby, I remember I used to go into a toy shop every week, sometimes everyday to look at toys. I was in the mode where I thought every second my kid was without toys, it meant that he was not going to be stimulated enough and that he was going to have brain damage etc.

Being in that mode meant that I was constantly buying toys and I would not settle for anything less than Fisher-Price. My hubby thought I had bought shares in them!

Today, I found myself at the toy section again, and I found myself once more fascinated with the toys they had on the shelves. After 30 minutes or so, I ended up with 2 toys for my kids.

This is the Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Cookie Shape Surprise toys which teaches kids about shapes and rewarding them with music when the right shape goes in. Although I bought it for Megan, it was more for Ryan to help teach her. I figured, that would be great to help them help each other. Too ideal? This is the Playskool Busy Chase n Crawl Duckies. Megan is creeping now and I figured this would be great for her to chase around. I love the way the duckies keep rotating each time it rolls.

And I am feeling a little addictive to my kids' expression when I gave them the toys. I think I might just go back to the toys section again soon. ; )

090909 - My baby turns 8 months old

My sweet Megan today turns 8 months old. Seen here, she is about a week short of that and already she has the strong character which I hope one day will help her go through the different phases in life.

Usually, she will be seen with a big smile on her face and it will usually melt your heart.

And recently, she has added 2 more teeth to her collection - look at the size of those teeth! Ouch!

A look at her development to date:

1) Apparently she is showing signs of independence.
~ Hmm, yes, she is able to play by herself for a while. She is also able to lie on the bed a while in the morning after she wakes up and I am not around. But I do not think she is able to self-soothe herself though. If at all, she gets even more worked up each time she does not get her way.

2) Apparently, she will develop some attachment to inanimate objects e.g. pillow, blanket, soft toy but to date, it is still not showing yet.

3) Able to/ develop the curiosity to self-feed.
~ For sure she does this, weeks ago! She is able to cupped her hand to take the cup in her hands, able to hold the spoon and stick it into her mouth. I bought her some organic finger food. She has learnt to bite off it now.

4) Separation anxiety is taking place now. Last week, at my mum 's house, I could barely put her down as the wails will bring the wall come tumbling down! All she wanted was to be in my arms. And then when she saw Auntie Wati, she started to sob too! But so far, she did not cry when I leave her with the nanny.

5) Megan is also able to hold 2 objects, one in each hand. And I have started to teach her to bang against each other so that she will understand consequences of her action.

6) If you take something from her while she is playing with it - expects wails of protest!

7) She understands that if she does something and we give her positive (or negative) reaction, she will expect similar reaction when she repeats them again.

8) And she has started creeping!! But she is a little on the havoc side. Unlike Ryan, Megan will literally creep off the bed edge!! Really have to be careful with this one.

9) Megan has a super straight back when she sits. Again, unlike Ryan who keeps falling backwards, Megan is able to sit properly for a longer period of time. If at all she falls, it is likely to be forward rather than backwards.

10) These last couple of days, Megan started to attempt to stand while supporting herself.

There, 8 whole months, looking forward to her next month.

Our weekend outing

Ever since the flu bug came along, our visits to the malls have been decreasing by the weeks.

And so, in order to expand my kids' energy, I have decided to bring them out to the park as well as to the hill near our house.

I must say that it is way better than being stuck in the malls with so many other people, not to mention the damaging effects on my wallet.

Ryan seen here in front of a pile of sand. We were kicking balls when this caught his eye and he decided this was way better to play with then the very colourful ball. I decided to turn a blind eye on the potential manifestation of bacteria there.

Megan seen here in her stroller. I think she is a little agitated seeing her brother having so much fun. I suspect she will learn to walk faster than her brother!

Last weekend, we also went to the park to cycle and run a bit. Helps me burn some calories too.

Looking forward to this week's outing.

My online store@ www.busybeemum.com

Yay!! On 1st September 2009, I opened my online store at http://www.busybeemum.com!

I have been considering my own shop/ store for the longest time and I always have constraints in my ventures. Be it time or capital and it has always held me back. However, with the power of the web, I figured this seems to be quite a logical route to take and try out.

Further more, I am very motivated by Penny and her online store. Since my kids are my life now, I figured something to do with them would blend in very well. And so, I decided on offering kids' clothes, from newborn to about 5 years old.

Since the thought got stuck to my head, I have been spending quite a bit of time sourcing on products as well as deciding the terms and the layout of the website. Thinking of the brands to carry and who my target is has also taken some time.

While I would not say that I have nailed it down to a T, I have gotten some basics in place. And so, my Busy Bee Mum Online Store was launched. I am still figuring out things on the way and I am still trying to source for products, so frequent visits to the site will bring you pleasant surprise!

Come visit then!

Talking about death with my 4 year old

Sometime last week, we were having our nightly prayer session with Ryan when he was about to sleep. I was suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that he has grown up so much over the last 4 years. so I said to him "Mummy thinks you are growing up too fast, I miss you so much already"

Ryan then looked at me and the following took place:

Ryan: Why mummy? Why did you say you miss me? Are you going to die?
Me: No, no, I just think that you are growing really well and that I miss you very much.
Ryan: But why do you say you miss me? Are you going to die tomorrow?
Me: No, not so soon. It will be quite a while more to go.
Ryan: But you will still die?
Me: Yes dear, one day, I will die eventually.
Ryan: But why must die?
Me: Well, that is God's design.
Ryan: Why does God want you to die?
Me: Well, everyone has to go one day.
Ryan: But I don't want that. Will I see you again?
Me: Yes dear, we will see each other in another life.
Ryan: But that is such a long time!
Me: I know dear, but it is ok.

And so the conversation went on for about 2-3 minutes. As the minutes passed by, his tears were getting more and more and closer and closer together.

My heart was going out to him as he struggles to understand why we will die one day and why God designs it in such a way. I guess death is something which we all know will happen but we never really talk about it. My 4 year old however, till today, still wonders why we cannot live on and on and on and is still asking me about it whenever he can.

You have any suggestions on how to tackle this?

My 4 year old tells me a bedtime story

We have been having bedtime reading and story telling for a while now. Although not everyday, we still make it a point to have it at least 4-5 times a week.

Tonight, Ryan insisted that he tells us a story. He was holding up a piece of paper which he says is his story. The story goes like this.

One day, there was a bad witch. And this bad witch turned Mickey Mouse into a bad monster. Mickey then turned his friends - Goofy, Donald, Minnie and Pluto - into bottles and squashed them.

And then, came a good witch who came to rescue Mickey and turned him back into a good mouse. And then the good witch went to step on the bad witch and then she smacked her and then he cut her.

And all Mickey's friends became perfect again and they live happily ever after, ever and ever.

I think his version was longer with a few more details added on. But I am very impressed that he was able to tell this story with the logical flow and appropriate words.

I don't think I was able to do this when I was 4 years old. Isn't it amazing? Kids today are so very different from our time. Did you have a bedtime story when you were young? Did you tell one?

52 years of independence

Tonight I came back from my parents' house with the kids so that I can catch the Merdeka's fireworks at midnight.

But you know what? I was bitterly disappointed.

I am not sure if it is because of the virus or it is because of the puasa month. But whatever it is, this is the last Merdeka we shall be spending in our current place. I am not sure if we will be seeing any in our new place.

I had kept Ryan up so that he can see it too. Sigh, no such luck and so, he went to bed after seeing some small fireworks up for display at Genting.

And I am not disappointed for not seeing the display, I am just disappointed because Ryan did not get to see it. Arghh.

Lunch time talk

Today I had lunch with a group of ex-colleagues at KLCC. It has been quite a while since I last saw them. PP is married, HL is back in Malaysia after an overseas stint and GY has just got herself a job near my office. We were all from the same unit in my previous company.

The conversation started rather easily with courteous "how-are-you, I-am-fine-thank-you". As we ordered and progressed during lunch, the conversation took a turn I had never imagined. The topic was on DOGS!!

HL and I were very stunned at how the conversation took a change as PP and GY continued on and on about how they take care of their dogs. The one thing which made me laugh quite a lot is that both their dogs live in an apartment, in the toilet. Key difference is that PP's dog not only get the fan, air purifier, the dog also gets a radio playing all day long! GY's dog does not have the radio but has the grand things a dog should have.

And then there was the question about toilet training the dogs and led them to look at me asking how I toiler trained my son. Er, probably not the best person to know. Then PP said she is looking for a trainer to toilet train her dog so that it will eat, sleep and s*** at a certain time. After laughing, we asked if she does her business at a set time too ... she said "Yes ah!" *Doink*

Not only that, PP is also reading books on how to handle tantrums, tempers and stubbornness, much like how I would be reading on Ryan. The funny thing is that these dogs training books are still behind time. They believe that if your dog shows stubbornness, you should be more stubborn so that he does not over power you. Hmm ... the kids' books have since revolutionised from then.

GY's dog on the other hand does not have loneliness issues since her mum will be visiting often during the day. But she is adamant about having the dog toilet trained and her thinking is that "...yes, when the dog is 5 months old, have to train before it gets out of hand!" Hmmm .... my boy is 4 years old and still wearing his diapers at night. What does that say about me??

And then there is the issue of bathing them. GY says that she bathes her dog herself. Being the hair ball it is, after bathing would mean it has gone out of shape! PP's dog on the other hand is sent to the salon - RM20 each time, which is more expensive than my car's bath!

By the time lunch ended, we were laughing non-stop. At one point, they were talking about getting dog's sanitary pads .... and disposable diapers. I am very amused at how things have changed over the years since we have knows each other.

I had kids, someone has gone to Singapore to work and gained a whole lot of experience, someone else swore by the train and now drives to work, someone else has matured into the motherly kind to have dogs and all to care and love for.

And oh ya, the dogs took such a centre stage that nobody was paying much attention to my little girl's photos!!

And before I forget, PP said to ask if anybody out there knows of dog trainers who can help train her dog to eat, sleep and s*** at a certain time. Leave a comment if you do ok?

You think my boy is a kaki ampu?

This happened yesterday morning as we were rushing (again!) out the door.

Me: Hullo, please go drink your milk.
(I was cooking Ryan's lunch for him to bring to daycare, a little stressed out since we were late)
Ryan: Wow mum, are you cooking for me?
Me: Yes, I am dear
Ryan: Mum, you are such a good cook-er.

And then as we were trying to get everyone out with their clothes and shoes on ...

Me: Now, if you do not wear your shoes, I am going to leave you behind here.
(Ryan was still busy playing with his sister)
Ryan: My two princess, you are my big princess, she is my small princess. My 2 princess!

And then some days back as I was preparing for work, I came out looking all frizzy haired and my son says this to me "Wow mum, you look so pretty today!"

Doink or not?

Good things come despite the heart ache

Some weeks ago, my little Ryan encountered a very unpleasant situation at the baby sitter's. You can read it here. Although at that time I was very sad, I am actually glad that it happened. I'll tell you why.

2 days after that episode, the baby sitter's husband (who was obviously still annoyed with me for pointing out that he cannot smack my son) came up to me and said that he will give me till the end of the month to find another sitter since he has already gotten another baby to look after. Imagine my anger at him doing this to me. Long story short, I later found out that it was all him and my sitter was quite embarrassed about it.

Anyway, that outburst from him triggered a chain of events which ultimately worked out better for Ryan.

Firstly, we have gotten Ryan to be in day care at the school. He gets to enjoy himself with his friends and have fun activities all afternoon. One good thing is that he has no TV. And instead of sleeping for 2 hours during the day, he only naps for 45 minutes, which is a good thing since he does not need much persuasion at night to sleep.

Secondly, it made me realise what a wonderful school and its teachers Ryan has. They were very supportive of me and the principal was really a dear. Because of this, Megan will start there earlier, which means my little girl will be well taken care of.

And then there is this Auntie M who was introduced by a dear friend of mine. She ferries Ryan from the school to the sitter's daily. Apparently, she is quite a dear lady from what I hear from Ryan.

And Megan gets the sitter's undivided care since she does not need to run after Ryan so much. I am sure temper flares are not as much at the baby sitter's too since it is just the baby and no pre-schooler who has a mind of his own!

Looking back, I am kind of glad Ryan got smacked and I caught it. Else, these good things will not be happening so soon. What is more, we will also be getting a maid when we shift to the new place. Again, this would not have been if the baby sitter's husband did not get all wacky on me.

My babies are sick

This nasty habit of falling sick has to really stop.

2 weeks ago, Ryan came down with a cough and flu. Thankfully there was no fever and so that nasty virus was ruled out. However, his cough came with vomit as he was trying to take out the phlegm that was compounding itself in his throat.

Ryan missed 2 days of school. By the third day, he was looking forward to school. Good.

And because my kids are so affectionate, Ryan was still kissing and kissing Megan when he was sick despite us telling him not to. So guess what? Megan fell sick too!

My poor baby girl started with the flu and then progressed to cough. We tried to pry Ryan away from Megan, but guess what? It is too tough!!! In the end, I left them be. I did not want to hurt Ryan's feelings and made him feel like he was responsible for his sister's illness. I prayed that my milk would be able to make her feel better.

However, a week on the medication and yet, her flu and cough is not gone yet. Ryan, meanwhile, has been getting better by the day. Arggh.

My poor baby Megan has been coughing her lungs out and have been having mucus running really badly but thankfully, she does not fuss much else mummy will be in a panic zone!

I hope with the new round of medication, Megan will recover faster. Ryan is ok now but has the occasional sneeze. Sigh, I really cannot stand my babies getting sick. I am ready to be the one who is sick on their behalf and spare them of all these discomfort.

Here's hoping that tomorrow will be a good recovery day!

I am determined to spread the word on breastfeeding!

Today's The Star carried an article about mummies who could not breast feed and how society has viewed them and the agony of it all.

As I was reading this article, I felt a sense of regret for mummies who want to breast feed but could not for whatever reasons. Over the years, most of the mummies I know who could not feed successfully was because they were not properly informed, or they lacked support.

And in these instances, they could have been avoided if only someone was there to offer support and guidance. Some mummies tell me they are convinced that they do not have milk because their breasts are small, their mothers could not do it too, their kids reject them, the nipples are sore, they are too tired, the baby is not full, the baby is always waking up to feed, their babies are nursing too long etc.

I always feel sad when I hear this. I really wish there was a way to reach these mothers to share with them the experience and the knowledge. I think that for mummies who tried and failed, you should always remember that you are great mothers anyhow.

I feel blessed that I am able to give my babies the best and I intend to help spread the word on this God sent nutrition to as many mothers as I can. One of the ways I know which can help prepare us in advance is to attend talks on breastfeeding. I attended one sometime back which was conducted by Gina. You can read about it here. Although I consider myself an experienced breast feeding mum, I still learnt a thing or two from this course. It is really worth it, please check it out. I think the next one is running early next month, sign up now!

What does a mouse eat?

Ryan asked me the above this morning when we were getting to school. In my mind, I was thinking about the ugly, smelly rodents and so I said "The mouse eats rubbish."

Ryan said this to me ... "No, the mouse's food is cheese. They eat rat cheese. You know why the cheese has holes? So that the mouse can get inside to eat it."

Wow, now, why didn't I think about it??

Megan is 7 months old

Yesterday, Megan turned 7 months.

And accordingly, these are the things she would be able to do now:

1) Sit unaided. Megan is doing more of this now than before. She is able to balance herself so that even if she falls, she actually just slides sideways rather than full on backwards. However, she cannot sit for long, most about 5 minutes or less.

2) Use her hands to reach, grasp, bang, shake and poke. Yup, already doing this since last month. Boy, can she make those noise!

3) Busy practicing her ablility to handle objects. She does not show any preference to her hands, uses both quite easily. Able to hold on to things very well. Can also pull at hair very strongly! Ouch!

4) She also has developed another insight into the nature of objects. When she drops a toy from her walker, she will follow the object and look down to see where it is. She will also be able to verbalise herself and make known that she has dropped something and would like us to help pick it up.

5) Another sign of increased understanding is her ability to go back to an activity after being briefly interrupted. This is a sure thing since she is constantly interrupted by Ryan.

6) Peek-a-boo is a top favorite at this age; another indication that Megan is learning that objects which disappear from sight are not necessarily gone forever.

So there, isn't it quick? Megan is 7 months already. And she is looking more and more like a pretty little girl now.

What should I do now?

I am very upset now and I am at a lost.

Just now I went to pick Ryan and Megan and found Ryan sobbing. He told me that the nanny's hubby smacked him. When probed, he showed me his thigh and true enough, he had a hand print on his thigh!

OMG! I nearly fainted. I gave birth to this little guy and I have never done this to him. I was half thinking if I should scream and lash out, but then I thought, I still needed them tomorrow for my kids. I chose instead to firmly ask why and what has caused all this to happen.

Apparently Ryan was mad about not being able to drink his Vitagen and he had started to throw things around and he nearly hit Megan will one of his flying objects. I am not denying that Ryan has a temper nor am I denying that he needs some discipline, but to be smacked so hard? I think not.

His daddy and I discussed about it and thought that perhaps it is better to send Ryan to the day care in the school and have the nanny's husband come pick him at 6pm so that the time spent at nanny's is minimal. But I also thought about how little time Megan and Ryan would have.

I am really at a lost now. I am afraid that this may repeat and then, I would really lose my cool with the nanny's husband. I am thinking if I should get a maid, but then the horror stories are too much to bear.

What should I do? What should I do? Any ideas?

I am deaf

Some days ago, I was scolding Ryan for something and I must have been nagging or something because he was obviously not listening to me.

After I asked if he has heard anything I said, he said this to me ... "No mum, I am deaf!"

My mum would have said I spoilt him too much to allow him to say this to me. But I think he is super cute!

Feeling emotional

I just finished nursing Megan and as I held her in my arms walking her back to the bed, I was suddenly flooded with a wave of emotions.

I desperately wanted to hold on to her and not let her go, I wanted to hold her close so that I do not have to deal with the fact that she is growing up fast. I whispered into her ears "You will be the best girl ever when you grow up. I want you to know that I will love you and protect you for years and years to come. And I hope to be able to shield you from all the pain and hurt and disappointment you may face. I love you so much my darling."

And then I felt that I was crying. I wonder why I suddenly was so overwhelmed. I am usually not like this at all. I guess, being a mother has really changed me, and I am loving it.

Sleep well my babies.

Hoarding milk powder

This post is inspiried by Kiasu Mom.

Fortunately for me, I pumped till Ryan was 2 years old. And so, I started to buy milk powder only from then. And since I bought it till now, I think the price has increased by 50%! Thanl goodness for the power of the breasts!

Whenver I go buy any of the Enfa series, I am told that this is the milk powder which increases its price fastest and yet, still has the most number of people buying it. And whenver I am told of a possible increase in prices, I will hoard and hoard the milk. I know, I am contributing to the inflations but then ...

The only reason I buy it is because it is from Mead Johnson and now I am beginning to think if the manufacturer is really so important.

Many years ago, I read some where that mothers are a funny kind. Whenever they pick up a can of milk powder, it must contain the most ingredients and that will be the can of choice. And it does not really matter WHAT those ingredients are nor how much is in it. But it must be the longest.

What about you? How do you choose your kid's milk powder?

Ideas coming to me

I have this peculiar way of having ideas when I least expect it, especially ideas on what to blog or some other money making ideas.

I am not sure about you, but my ideas usually come when I am driving (and therefore have no hands to write them down) or when I am bathing (and therefore would have to expose myself if I decide to grab a pen) or when I am about to sleep (and therefore would mean I have to get up, find my pen and paper in half darkness and then finding myself wide awake after writing them down).

So, when I finally do sit down like this to write, my mind is blank and hence I am writing this. I actually did have a brilliant idea just now while I was bathing ... now I cannot remember it.

Don't you just hate it? What about you? When do your ideas usually come?

He cries, she cries, I cry, everybody cries!

2 days ago, I was having a bad morning with Ryan and hubby. Ryan was being difficult as always, but this time, it resulted in his dad almost smacking him.

First, he did not want to wake up, then he refused to change, then he refused to brush his teeth, then don't want to wear socks. Then refused breakfast and then kicked his dad when his dad tried to put on his shoes. That was when he almost got a hard one.

Sigh, I got so stressed trying to separate the two that I worked up quite a temper in the car, when sending him to school. I was literally screaming and he was (I think) a little surprised.

Anyway, when I dropped him off, I got so worked up, I broke down in the car. Sigh, one of those days I guess when you think you have done all the possible wrongs after believing you are the best mum ever.

Fast forward to today, we had another scolding session. Ryan worked up quite a tantrum when we had to leave the pool this morning and got his hands smacked when he hit me.

Then in the afternoon, he stood howling at the door when he could not see what was in the package I gave to our neighbour's son for his burthday.

Coupled with a 6-month ago, I lost it momentarily and I too started to cry. I think Ryan was now horrified and came hugging me and kissing me. He repeated words that I would use when I console him. He was really sweet. Not only that, because I was sobbing, he started to sob too and pretty soon, he was sobbing uncontrolably! And then Megan started to cry!! Arghh!!!

But after we cooled down, we were good. I guess, crying once a while helps to release all the stress as well as help us shed some toxins, ya? But the one thing that struck me was how much my emotions affected him, which got me thinking if my stress were actually causing him to feel so defiant and consistently in a bad mood. I always saw him as a sweet boy.

Maybe, I should step back and take things easy huh?

A link to Michael Jackson's Grammy performance in 1988

I am putting this down more for my consumption. This guy's footwork is great! Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snjlNkl9PAA

Megan and her accidents

I wrote about Megan falling off the bed some time in June. Two days ago, she did it again!

This time though, it was in the morning. I had placed her in the middle of the bed thinking that it would take her some time to roll to the edge. I was in the bathroom, about a nano second away, brushing Ryan's teeth.

However, with the force of my milk milk, she managed to roll herself over to the edge in seconds and "poop", she was on the floor!! Thankfully though, in both times, God was watching over her and she landed on a bolster which protected her head.

She let out a cry but was smiling when her daddy picked her up.

Today, she was involved in another accident. She literally flew out of her walker. Ryan was pushing her around and then I heard her screamed.

Her walker over turned and she was lying on the floor, body half out of the walker and she was so shocked, she could not move herself. I lifted her out and inspected her, no harm done except for the eye socket area which hit the metal stand of her rocker. It turned red.

I looked at Ryan, wanting to scold, then remembered it was only an accident and I am sure he did not mean any harm. True enough, his eyes turned red and teary and then he started to cry when he saw Megan crying!

The wheels on the rocker caught the carpet and resulted in the walker over turned when it was pushed with force. I am sure Ryan felt guilty and he was sorry. I hugged both of them and gradually the tears and cries subsided.

Sigh, parenting is always a learning process and I am learning well everyday.